Fur Brats

Last night when I was busy at the computer, I reached behind me, opened the cupboard door to get some paper for the printer, and of course in no time Scaff jumped in to explore. What fun. she settled down in the box, and then Ed came to visit and climbed in with her. After a while they had a little romping fight inside this cosy place and Ed was evicted. Triumphant Scaff.

Getting Ready to Travel

At last, tonight I placed the last piece of tile on my mosaic. Bravo!! I'll take another pic later withouth that bright light on so you can see the colours better.

I'll attempt to pack it in cardboard and bubblewrap tomorrow so that I can take it to Holland with me. There I'll grout it and frame it. I'm very happy with it so far. What you think?

Birthday Baby

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JESSE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

To my beloved daughter. I'm singing this very loud to you today. I can't remember your exact age in the pic, a bit less than one year old, but cute and delicious as anything.

So I do hope that today, being probably one of the strangest birthdays of your life (??) that you're able to experience some little gems to make your day special, and that you can contain something from this unusual experience to keep as precious. You just never know. Sometimes the strangest experiences can land up containing some of the most precious moments for us.

By the way, the little surfing wave on top of your head was completely natural. It stood up all on its own with no encouragement from me. And that was my shoulder you were about to dribble on.

Beautiful wishes for you on this day. May your year render experiences that enrich your life and lead you to the strength, beauty, grace and power that is really yours.

I love you

Jesse's Birthday

I went for a walk on the beach this evening. It's getting colder, and I had a fleece top on, zipped up. I heard someone say on the radio today that the first whales have arrived. I didn't see one, but the beach has a special feeling at this time of the year. Everything becomes a little more introverted. I was thinking of many things, and missing Jesse. We've had many evening walks like this. For some reason I thought of one of my very most favourite poems. I want to share it with you for your birthday. especially the last two lines. and I found these little pictures too. Think of it as a birthday card

e.e.cummings.

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maggie and milly and molly and may

went down to the beach ( to play one day)

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and maggie discovered a shell that sang

so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles, and

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milly befriended a stranded star

whose rays five languid fingers were;

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and molly was chased by a horrible thing

which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

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may came home with a smooth round stone

as small as a world and as large as alone.

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For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)

it's always ourselves we find in the sea

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I miss our walks together on the beach, and I look forward to the time we can do it again. In the meantime, remember all these things we can find. especially ourselves.

Incy Wincy Spider

We found this guy on Sunday when we walked on the mountain. Beautiful web

Jesse and Annie

Fall over from the 'cute attack'!

I love the fingers on her right hand, holding that little bottle. I think the doll was called Annie? Or was it Fran? I'm not sure, but I do know that Jesse loved and adored her very much. She went everywhere with her. I think 'Annie-Fran' was the predessor of 'Pinky'. I don't know what it was that made 'Pinky' stay tho, and the pure Waldorf dolls sort of melted into the distance. Maybe I made a donation of toys to the Waldorf school when my kids grew bigger and they refused 'Pinky'. Too Ahrimanic.

What ever the story, you have to just melt when you see those divine little legs, the stripey outfit, the dinky little shoes and socks, the way she's holding that beloved doll, and the expression on her face and in her body.

Eish!!!!

I Love it!

Little People - big Lives

If you make this pic larger, can you see the incredible expression on Jesse's face?

You don't need to make it larger to see the typical 'Ping' expression on Luke's.

What a wonderful little team these two were.

Luke and Jesse.

It's been quite an amazing journey for me over these weeks, looking at pics from the past in my effort to build something touching and supportive on this blog. It's not so much the specific memories that are stimulated by the photos of times gone by, but the very deep and intense feelings and emotions that go with those times.

These two people were fantastic, incredible characters to meet and grow with. I hold the space inside myself most dearly.

When you look at the faces of children, you can see the whole being already present. Only when they're little it looks more cute and adorable. But in fact the qualities are already there. Present. They already are who they are. It's both a fantastic and a frightening thought.

I think it's part of the reason why I'm placing some of these pictures of 'Essence' here for Jesse.

To remind her and reconnect her with all these unique and special qualities that are really hers.

What an Honour and Priviledge, to have known and loved these two special people. And what Love!!

Viscious Demon

This is the viscious monster who came hurtling out of the bathroom and across the carpet under my desk promptly every evening at 11h15. Scaring the living daylights out of me and forcing me to spend the rest of my computer time with my feet on the desk to avoid any attacks from his part.

HA HA, I eventually captured him in a glass and after photographing him, liberated him into the garden. He was a serious weirdo, and thrashed around inside that glass like a mad alligator. The cats were very interested and tried to tip him out the glass a couple times.

It's been so hot in Cape Town these past few weeks, that there seem to be more insects and geckos at night than ever before. Ah...! Africa.

Beautiful Women

It's been one of the greatest priviledges of my life! Having a daughter. Growing and maintaining love, respect, support and appreciation between us. It's not to say that having a son means any less. Just different.

It feels like one of the greatest achievements in Life.

Thank you my Jesse.

For some reason, tonight I'm feeling sad and very emotional. I've been working on my mosaic, listening to music, and missing Jesse very deeply. The writing that she shared today has moved me very deeply. I hardly know what to say, just that I miss having her around. I love all the moments, all the stages and phases.

Jakey, you're a beautiful woman. Be Proud of this.

I'm behind you every moment of every day.